My Resume
You know when you have to fill out paperwork for this or that and you have to list an occupation? I NEVER write "Housewife", even though, technically thats what I am, I hate that title. It's much too old-fashioned and when I hear that word, it makes me think of a woman that spends the day in in a housecoat and fuzzy slippers and watches soaps all day with a big basket of clean laundry sitting next to her that doesn't get folded. I do not fit this discription. I don't like the term "Homemaker" either. Its much too Molly-mormon-ish sounding for me. I always write "Mom" but really, my accomplishments at home are wider than the realm of just "Mom". I've decided to change my title to "Domestic Engineer". Really, thats what I am. Dictionary.com defines "Engineer" as "One who skillfully or shrewdly manages an enterprise." That is what I do everyday. (There are actually several definitions of this word, this is just one of them.)
I recently updated my profile on Facebook. In the "Education and Work" section it now says:
Employer: Brent, Brittany, Brooklyn, Damon and Ellie
Position: Domestic Engineer
Description: My responsiblitlies are vast and have and will contine to change slightly over time. They currently include, but are not limited to, head cook/grocery shopper, responsible for teaching and training future associates in my field or preparing trainees to enter training in any other field of their choosing, head of maintenance, sanitation and groundskeeping, scientist, in charge of shipping and recieving, head of the wardrobe department, expert de-junker, master conflict resolutionist, personal finance analyst, head of Accounts Payable, talent developer, creativity director, dog groomer, plumber, architect, schedule coordinator, linguist/translating unfamiliar tongues, head decision-maker, and expert treat-tester/taster.
Time Period: July 1998 to Present; Part-time July 1998 to September 2001, Full-time September 2001 to Present.
My aunt sent the following in an email. Its so fitting.
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a Cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do all day?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
I recently updated my profile on Facebook. In the "Education and Work" section it now says:
Employer: Brent, Brittany, Brooklyn, Damon and Ellie
Position: Domestic Engineer
Description: My responsiblitlies are vast and have and will contine to change slightly over time. They currently include, but are not limited to, head cook/grocery shopper, responsible for teaching and training future associates in my field or preparing trainees to enter training in any other field of their choosing, head of maintenance, sanitation and groundskeeping, scientist, in charge of shipping and recieving, head of the wardrobe department, expert de-junker, master conflict resolutionist, personal finance analyst, head of Accounts Payable, talent developer, creativity director, dog groomer, plumber, architect, schedule coordinator, linguist/translating unfamiliar tongues, head decision-maker, and expert treat-tester/taster.
Time Period: July 1998 to Present; Part-time July 1998 to September 2001, Full-time September 2001 to Present.
My aunt sent the following in an email. Its so fitting.
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a Cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do all day?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
Comments
I got a good chuckle at the joke as well. I know a lady in a branch near here that did the same thing when her children were younger. The husband never questioned what she did again.
I agree whole heartedly about position titles. I personally prefer the domestic goddess. You title reminds me of an email I got awhile ago.. if I can sift thru and find it I'll send it to you.