Motherhood

Being Mother's Day, I got to thinking about my own journey through motherhood. It's one of those things where one learns as one goes. Or, at least, that's the case for me because I was absent the day they were handing out the instruction manuals for motherhood. I never got mine.

I'll admit, I was clueless when Brittany came along. Wasn't really sure what I was in for. But something happened in those early moments and days, something I'm not really sure how to explain. I do have a vivid memory of rocking Brittany one day when she was brand new. I had this incredible feeling come over me that cemented the knowledge in my mind and heart that I was responsible for this little being. It was my job to do my very best to teach her the things she would need to know to make it through this life and back to Heavenly Father.

I returned to work when Brittany was a few months old. I worked for the first two years of her life because I had to, we needed the money. There were times I felt really torn between motherhood and wanting a career. I had a job that I enjoyed and could have turned in to a great career with lots of opportunities and at times, that was really tempting. But when it all boiled down, I was truly jealous of all the other moms in our ward (we were in a married student ward), and there were lots of them, that got to stay home full-time with their babies. I knew that ultimately that's what I wanted, too.

By the time Brooklyn came long, I was able to stay home. I have never regretted not returning to the workforce. President Harold B. Lee once said (speaking to the women of the church), "The most important work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own homes."

Motherhood covers an entire spectrum of, well, everything. It's that unconditional love for that child that makes you want to pull out your hair. It's the frustrations over handprints on the walls or messes in the kitchen. It's also the pride that comes with seeing a child accomplish something, whether it be tying a shoelace, riding a bike without training wheels, passing a difficult test, or being a good friend to others. Motherhood is feeling helpless when a child is sick and all you can is sit and hold them. It's feeling angry when some other kid is mean to yours. Motherhood means shedding a tear or two when a child gets their feelings hurt. Motherhood is a love so great that it really can't be described. Motherhood is not always a glamorous job, in fact, it almost never is, it's often hard and we must deal with plenty of unpleasant things. At times, motherhood can even be monotonous. There have days been, more than one, that I've wanted to quit. It is the hardest thing I've ever attempted. It's also the most rewarding. I would not trade my job for anything.

Motherhood is one of those few jobs that doesn't have a retirement date. Once you sign up, you're committed forever. In retrospect, it's probably a good thing I didn't realize what I was signing up for when I decided to have kids. I may not have had them. I love being a mom.

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms. Hope you have a great day.