Worries

I had a worrisome morning. Not that anything bad happened, just concerns for my family and their comfort and happiness. It almost sounds silly and a little over the top, but I guess we wives and moms just do that....at least, I do.

Brent headed out early on a mountain biking trip with several other guys. They planned to head up Logan canyon to The Sinks. This adventure had been on the calendar for quite a while and Brent was really looking forward to it. The mornings are getting chilly here in the valley so the mountains are much cooler and I knew his chosen attire wasn't gonna be warm enough. I was right. I worried that he would have a miserable time. Brent actually had a great time but admitted that he froze this morning.

I always worry about Brittany. Sometimes she doesn't talk much, just keeps to herself. I worry and wonder if she's happy or if she's making friends at school.

Yesterday Brooklyn forgot to bring her homework home. She seemed almost proud that she didn't have to sit down and do homework last night and wasn't at all worried about the potential consequences...until this morning. Shortly before the bus came she was in tears and was worried her teacher would get mad at her because her homework wasn't done. I told her to work on it as soon as she got to school and get as much done as she could and even if her teacher did get upset, to remember that I love her and I'm not mad. That seemed to help and she headed to school. Brooky came home happy and proud that she had managed to finish her assignments before the bell rang.

Damon had a rough day yesterday. I really like his teacher but she enforces structure and micromanages like you would not believe! I'm over the fluoride program this year and Thursdays are fluoride days before school. Brooky and Damon had been looking forward to the start of this program because they love to help check off names as the kids come through the line. We got to school early and I sent the kids to drop off their backpacks in the their classrooms. I waited and waited for Damon to return to help and he didn't come. I finally sent Brooklyn to go find him. She came back and said Damon's teacher wouldn't let him leave the classroom. Seriously?! I was having none of that so I headed to Damon's classroom and told his teacher he was coming with me to help. When I got to his class and looked at his face, it was obviously he was just fighting back the tears. That really tugged on my heart-strings and it kinda made me mad. Next week, Damon will not go to his classroom before the bell rings.

Yesterday afternoon Damon's class did a big art project and parents were invited to help. I headed back to the school and when I got to the classroom Damon came to me and kind of started crying and said, "I was a little bit naughty today." I noticed his name was on the board along with several other names but he wouldn't tell me what had happened. Our neighbor's daughter's name was also on the board so my neighbor asked the teacher what was going on. As it turns out, the class had gone out for a walk and some of the boys started saying they were going to kill someone or something. (Ummm...not that it's okay to talk like that, but kids do it. It doesn't mean they're going to become serial killers or anything like that. I don't think kids that age really even understand what they're saying when they talk like that.) The neighbor girl had her name on the board because she was a "witness" to this talk but she told her mom that Damon wasn't the one saying stuff. The teacher put the names on the board so she could remember to talk to the kids about it today. Damon hasn't said a word about the incident since the art project yesterday so I'm hoping things got smoothed out okay. I'll ask him about it this weekend. But, I worried about sending him to school this morning. I worried that he was nervous and that he was going to have a terrible day, he can be a real tender-heart.

I hate sending my kids into situations with anxiety. We've all been there at one point or another, it's just life. But as their mom, I want to protect them and shield them from that. I really wanted to go to school with Damon today to plead his case, make sure he wasn't held accountable for something he didn't do. Or, at the very least, defend him because he's just a kid and kids say things sometimes that they shouldn't. I wanted to go with Brooky and explain to her teacher that everyone forgets things now and then. I didn't go to school with my kids, instead I sat at home praying things would turn out well for them and it would be a good day. I think it was.

Many aspects of motherhood have gotten a lot easier over the past couple of years. (Yes, I know I'm starting over again in a couple of months.) But I'm learning that while some things get lots easier and more pleasant, other things get so much harder. The emotional aspect of raising children is getting tougher. I never expected this. I have to remind myself that the kids have to learn to fight their own battles, I can't do it for them, even though I want to. It's hard.